I see you. Standing at the kitchen sink as the tears fall down your cheeks. You've been trying to get the dishes washed for at least an hour, while your kids work to gain your attention between their "Mommy, watch this"es and their meltdowns.
You feel pulled in a million different directions as the laundry piles up, the to-do list builds, your 5 year old just wants you to read a story with him, your 3 year old is screaming about ALL THE THINGS, the baby is crying instead of napping, and you know your husband is on his way home to the disaster of a house.
You wonder if you fussed at the kids too much today. Or if you weren't firm enough. Or if the discipline you gave was even effective.
You wonder if any other mom is having this hard of a time (surely not...).
I know it feels like the weight on your shoulders is going to knock you flat on the ground some days. The pressure feels suffocating as you try to juggle all the jobs and demands.
You feel like you're letting everyone down. That there's just not enough of you to go around. That you're not enough. The guilt weighs heavy as you sit down on the couch after all the kids are finally asleep.
I see you. I've been you. You're not alone.
First let me tell you that the nagging voice in your head trying to throw all that guilt on top of you is not true. You ARE doing a good job. Your kids DO love you (they probably even like you). Your efforts are not futile.
There are more than enough things on your plate each day, and there is not enough room for guilt.
This season is hard. It feels lonely. You're surrounded all day by small little people that are prone to selfishness. They ask and ask and want every little ounce you have to give without really being able to give you anything in return. Your tank runs dry, and it's hard to get it refilled.
But I'm going to venture to guess you are doing the best job you possibly can. You may have "fussed too much", but there is grace. You may have raised your voice too loudly, but there is grace. You may have spoken too quickly to your kids, or your husband when he got home, but there is grace.
There is grace.
Did you love your kids today? Were they fed? Did they have clothes to wear (even if you had to resort to pulling them out of the dirty clothes pile)? Then mama, you are doing alright.
I know it feels like you have to constantly be all the things to all the people. I get it. I feel that way, too. But I promise you're doing a good job.
Tell that guilt that wants to eat away at you to shut the hell up. You don't have time for it, and it's just not the truth. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you're doing a good job. You're not ruining your kids. You're not a disappointment to them. They think you hung the moon. They think you're super woman. You're their most favorite person on the planet. And at the end of the day, instead of going through the list of all the things you think you did wrong, make a list of all the good things. The fun things you did and the memories you made. There are more good things than you might think. You may feel like you're screwing it all up, but your kids don't think so. And I don't think so. And God doesn't think so.
You are enough, and you are doing a great job. Choose to see the good. And know that you are never ever doing this life thing alone.