Although it seems impossible to believe, we have reached the end of another year. 2017 is almost over! We are about to step into a new year and all that comes along with it. Resolutions will be made. Some will be kept, most won't (raising my hand here). As we move into a new year, I want to be more intentional in setting goals for myself. I want to take the time to look back on the last year and see what worked and what didn't. What was good, and what could use some work.
2017 has honestly been a great year in my life. I talked a lot about this when I wrote about turning 30 a couple of months ago. But adding Gibson to our fam and figuring out (using that term real loosely here, folks) life with three has made this year feel like a total blur. So if I don't stop and truly take this time to reflect, I'm going to miss all that this year had to offer me. And it was A LOT. I hope you're willing to go along with me and hear what I have learned, and then take the time to do this yourself!
This has probably been the biggest, most wonderful, life changing part of the last year or two for me. First, let me tell you about my friend Courtney. Finding her was legitimately a gift from Jesus. A mama who got me. Who was walking the exact feelings and day to day life that I was, who was real and honest. Who when I texted and said "I've been hiding in my closet and this is the third time I've cried today" she would give a resounding "Girl, me too!". I can pour into her and she pours into me. I wouldn't have gotten through some days without her. And then us coming together to create this little community here at Cold Coffee, Hot Mess. It's been incredible. Everyone needs a Courtney. And then meeting my girl Blake, and within a week claiming each other as best friends. That doesn't happen often, y'all. She gets me. She builds me up and has taught me so much about authentic friendship. We can get real deep and I know she won't judge me when I need to take a minute to be shallow and petty. Everyone needs a Blake, too. I could not do this life without these women in my corner. I hope all of you know who you are!
I'm not the best at communicating. If you don't already know this from my writing, I can tend to get a little rambley/ranty and sometimes struggle to get my point across. Add this to the fear of being wrong or sounding stupid and we have the opposite of effective communication. Imagine being married to that, ha! Somehow, Jonathan and I have turned over a new leaf in our ability to communicate. Each year has gotten better, of course, but I feel like we have both grown so much in this area. This means less arguing and more calmly sharing our emotions and speaking truth into the situation and into each other. We don't always get this right, but more often than not we end up here and it's been so good. In May we will hit our 10 year anniversary. I'm glad we are finally getting the hang of this thing ;)
Cold Coffee, Hot Mess.
This blog. This community. It's hard to believe it was just a few months ago that I sat on my couch and started dreaming this thing into existence. And I can tell you, if it wasn't for you guys, I may have given up and called it a day. But you keep me going. You have responded, you've encouraged, you have contributed so much to my life. I am thankful to have a voice in this crazy internet space to be able to share my life and hopefully bring some encouragement and joy into yours. Thanks for welcoming me!
Maybe this should have been the first thing I wrote. Because without it, the other three wouldn't have happened. I have wasted way too much time in my life worrying what someone might think of me, trying to go with the flow instead of staying rooted in what I truly think and feel, letting others' opinions dictate my own, not being myself because it looks different than the people I'm around, etc. etc. IT'S NOT FREAKING WORTH IT. My life is better, happier, fuller, richer, all. the. things. because I am working every day to embrace who I am and what I want, and then living that out. Embrace your weird, people. Comparison will steal and kill all of your joy, and the world doesn't need to have a bunch of carbon copies. It needs YOU.
So what am I letting go of in 2018? Comparison. Striving. Status. Negative self-talk. Believing lies about myself. Wasting time. Making excuses.
What am I embracing? Myself, the person God created me to be. My gifts. My family. My friends. Truth. Contentment. Positivity. Making the most of my time and days. More dates with my man. More intentional time with my kiddos. Becoming a morning person. Taking care of this body. Vulnerability.
I cannot tell you how good it feels to be comfortable and confident in your own skin. Sure, I have a long way to go in some areas. But some days moments I feel like I'm doing a pretty damn good job at this life thing. I hope that doesn't sound braggy. Because if you know me, you know I'm far from braggy. But I am a believer in sharing and spreading the good. And my life? It's a good one. I'm going to venture to guess that yours is, too, if you stop and choose to see it. 2018, I don't want to miss out on all that you're going to bring, even if it sucks. I don't want to miss the good. And I will choose to learn from the not so good.
So what are you most thankful for in 2017? What are you embracing and letting go of? I would love to hear from you in the comments. Let me know if you're making any goals or resolutions! Let's head into this new year together, cheering each other on. Here's a cold coffee cheers to you, my fellow hot mess friends.